Meanwhile, back at the Ranch…

Hello!  My, what fun it is to have to deal with the aftermath of an Idiot hitting your car!  But it’s in the shop, the Idiot’s Insurance Company is picking up the tab, and I have the rental.  So, unless something else happens, back to Blogging.

Thanks to everyone who’s commented.  Check them out!  And now it’s time to move forward.

So we know what Firearms ARE.  We know why SOME People (certain Political Elites and their Cronies) fear them. But let’s continue with some other reasons, shall we?  RHT447 mentioned in the Comments about the “Hoplophobe.”  This was a term coined by Col. Cooper (PBUH!) to describe someone who, one could say, had such a Psychological Fear of Firearms that they could suffer a Nervous Breakdown if they came in contact with them.  Now, having never seen such a person before, I always wondered if they even existed.  I mean, how could they call 911 if there was a Car Accident?  I mean, a person with a GUN would show up!  You know, a Cop.  So I always took the idea about “Hoplophobes” with a grain of salt.  Until I met one.

Last summer, a few of locals had the opportunity to do some Recreational Shooting.  You know how this works.  Gather the Friends, break out some Firearms, head down to some Farmland, set up a Safe Range, and do some Plinking, sighting in, etc. Well, we’re sitting there, getting in some Trigger Time, and a Friend shows up with his Wife.  She HATES and FEARS Guns with a Passion.  All my Buddy’s Guns have to be Locked Up 24/7, except one Pistol for Self-Defense (in one of those Nightstand Safes), don’t take anything out of the Safe if SHE’s there, WE can’t come in with Guns if SHE’s there, yadayadayada.  So being slightly Gobsmacked, we asked “What’s Up?” My Buddy said “It’s time for her to learn how a Gun works.  I’m not leaving her alone with the Kids when I go on 3rd. Shift w/o knowing how to use the Guns.”  He doesn’t live in a very good neighborhood, BTW, and the Cops in that Town are a Joke.  So we held a little meeting, talked about it, and set her up.

You’d have thought we were unloading the Trains at Auschwitz.  The crying, the screaming, the yelling.  Didn’t matter that someone else brought their Wife and Kids, and we showed her how even a 10 year old could have fun.  Didn’t matter that the other Ladies were making Gongs Ring and Cans jump with everything from Glocks to Mausers to an SKS.  At one point she said “IT’S GOING TO KILL ME!” But we devised a Cunning Plan.

So we put one .22lr round in the Marlin 60.  Her Husband stood behind her and held it to her Shoulder.  My Buddy stood to her left and held the fore stock. I was to her right, and everyone else was behind us (Traces of Sniggering and Rude Comments wafted through the air).  I gently took her Trigger Finger, and said “I’ll pull it with you on three, okay?”  She get’s Braced, eyes closed, and I start the count. “One…Two” and yanked the trigger.

She opened her eyes, and said “WHAT WAS THAT!?”  I told her she’d just fired her First Shot.  “BUT IT DIDN”T HURT!?  AND WHY DIDN’T YOU WAIT UNTIL THREE, ASSHOLE!?”  I explained that if I hadn’t Cheated, we’d still be there, because she would be Frozen like an Iceberg, and I couldn’t pull the Trigger with her Hands like a Steel Rake.  So she yelled at me, cussed me and her husband and the Cows two fields over, then after she settled down, we said “Time to do it again.”  She started to say something, and her Husband said “No Excuses.  You ALREADY fired a Gun. And it didn’t kill you or the Kids or anyone else.  Now it’s time to find your Limits, and get some Practice in”.  So she fired the Marlin a few times, and we shared the rest of the stuff, and by the end of the day, we discovered that 9mm was about as far as she was willing to go with a Handgun, 20 gauge with the Shotgun, and 7.62 x 39 with the Rifles.  Last time I saw her, she had gotten her CHP, and was carrying an LCP. But to this day, she never will say why she was so SCAAARRREEED of guns.  “Just something Bad happened when I was a Kid” is all I’ve gotten out of her.

Oh, BTW, she’s an ER Nurse in an Inner City Hospital, so it’s not the “Icky Bloody Guts” excuse, either.

So I know that “Hoplophobes” do exist, but I think they are about as rare as an Honest Politician.  But that still doesn’t explain why they are “So SCAAARY” to so many people.  But I have an Idea Why for next time.  And here’s a Hint:  Firearms Scare ME.  Until Next Time, Bubblehead Les Out.

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2 thoughts on “Meanwhile, back at the Ranch…

  1. Old NFO

    Yep, one never knows… Laura was raised the same way, and now owns and shoots 1911s… It’s ALL about that first introduction,,,

    Reply

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